i made this out of love and pride for you, and i understand why i wasnt invited to any of the events you're taking part in, i promise. but thank you so much for letting me experience prom night with you. and congrats again for graduating

ok, so just because im taking french during summer school doesnt mean i continue to hear french words randomly pop in my head.. cause i doo! ugh. but french is fun, again may i say. and so is school with the boys. although "it's so weird to see me there like i dont belong but its cute" as bruce recalls. im happy to see a particular someone each day. and as friends state "since when did this happen?!" lol. things feel so much different with this foolio. im proud to say, its completely different. as the song goes, "take is slowww oh ooooh oh, take it slow". i dont want to make the same mistakes because i learned! and we respect one another, more so i respect myself. and we pinky promised on not 'going there'. the only thing that really turned me on was his mohawk anyway... now that that's gone? lol. well, tomorrow i am getting all 4 wisdom teeth pulled. i keep hearing different stories. "ouch, you're going to be tortured" semi "you dont feel a thing". shut up. im scared now. i need to go out, the upcoming throbbing chubby cheeks ruins all chances this weekend...

bloody knuckles with boys is a bitch. and bruce, i cant believe you hit me. a girl. you're going to beat your wife, watch. and ryan, i cant believe you bit me.. lol.

and papi? por que papi. i kinda miss you.

sister sister

back in the day when we was young and not a kid anymore. remember back then, you thought what you wore was the shit? looking back just a year from now, im thinking "what the hell was i thinking?!" lol.. goodtimes. anyways, i love these females even though im not tired of their face. i miss 'em even more <3

UGH!! IM IN A BAD MOOD.. FUUGGHHHHH. but! summer school is fun. i get to see my boys and missee and and everyone else at db no matter how lame it is. and sheettt its so freaking hot there, i swear im darker after day 1. and and, FRENCH IS THE BOMB DIGGITY. i dont know why i said that, but as you can see im enjoying it. Au revoir!!

i realized a lot of things once people in my life started to leave. that you cant depend on anyone for staying. that you can only depend on yourself to get through things, because in the end, even though they say they'll be there for you, the last one left is you. i've realized and learned so much through my ignorance. yet i feel even more ignorant for not doing anything about my mistakes until now.

im starting off on a fresh start. i know how to get on on my own this time. and i dont want to give in to sin anymore, to give in to temptation. life is better off pure because karma comes back to you. am i right? and there is a difference between being selfish and doing what's right for you. lessons learned. and may i say, finally.

i just got back from the viewing. my eyes are so tired.. i need rest. i was so scared to go up to that coffin and look at his body, what he left behind. and when i finally had guts to.. with britt and kev holding my hand, bruce and kevin right behind me, i looked down at this body. it wasnt angelo. his heart and spirit wasnt there anymore. it just wasnt angelo..

there were burst of tears here and there, sobs, shakes.. it hurt so much. im just so thankful that i had the people i needed there to hold me through it all. there were also laughter and smiles remembering angelo. remember the good times which keeps us going. we watched videos of angelo from cameras and his webcam, lol thank god for those. i just miss him so much, more then words can explain all of this.. imaging isnt as close to how much it hurts. but i know that now he is free, he is happy, he isnt suffering. that's what stops my tears.. i miss him, but what could be better then being up there with god?

and tomorrow im going to the second viewing. then saturday is his funeral.

i love you angelo. you are my angel.